More Evil Lockers
by Aulophobic Clarinetist
Summary: What would happen if lockers were installed in Hogwarts? locker problems, combination errors, and hilariously embarrassing moments, that's what. Abandoned/Complete
1. Sirius

Sirius stepped out of the Room of Doom after Filch had left the area, according to the map (A/N there really is a room of doom… watch the third movie when Harry looks at the Marauder's Map. You'll see it).

He had been skipping Divination to hang out in the Room of Doom. He lazily strode (he doesn't strut either) down a long hallway in the middle of class, the corridors to himself. Portraits nodded disapprovingly or sighed exasperatedly at the skipper of classes.

He reached his locker, 711, which happened to be right next to James's and some of his books were coincidently in the wrong locker. He decided to finally do the transfiguration essay due three days ago and lackadaisically spun his lock and opened his locker.

The transfiguration book wasn't in there so he closed the locker with a sigh as if the book should be there for Sirius Black.

He reached for James's locker and spun the lock. It didn't open.

The bell signaling the end of class would ring in about ten minutes. Sirius heard footsteps coming down the hallway to the corridor he was in. He hastily checked the map. It was Filch. He quickly opened his own locker once more and took James's invisibility cloak out. How it ended up in his locker, he didn't know but he was sure thankful for it and decided not to steal one of James's chocolate frogs between the next two classes.

Filch grumbled angrily about not catching any students, picked up his faithful cat Mrs. Norris, and walked out of the corridor of lockers. Sirius breathed a gasp of relief and began to work on James's locker.

"Hey, locker… you know, you are the most amazing locker in the school and I know you love my transfiguration book, but you see, most amazing locker, I need it now, so, er, could you please give it to me?" he asked smoothly.

It didn't open.

He decided to use –and I quote from cylobaby- his devilishly good looks (A/N which he totally doesn't have cause Sirius isn't hot, cylo!) to open the locker. He stared right at it and smiled one of his most charming smiles at it.

Nothing happened.

He frowned slightly. Then smirked at the sudden thought that came to mind. He tossed his hair once and raised his eyebrows at the locker. It didn't open. The bell began to ring.

He grinned deviously. (Oh, No! scary…) He was going to use the famous Sirius Black charm to open it. (be afraid… be very afraid).

He ran a hand through his ebony locks, tossed his hair once to the left, then once to the right, and then smiled his most charming smile at the locker that would make most girls sigh and faint at the sight (A/N coughCYLO!cough…). The locker didn't open.

He continued smiling when Lily Evans walked up to her locker two down form his.

"Black, why are you smiling at Potter's locker?" she questioned as if he was crazy. He turned, still beaming. Girls fainted.

"Well?" prodded Lily

"I'm using my devilishly handsome good looks and my hotness to open Prongsie's locker." He replied with a dead serious tone (NO PUN!!!)

"Are you seri-… joking?" she corrected herself from using The pun.

"no…"he said like it was the most obvios thing in the world, "of course not .I need my transfiguration book. Why isn't it opening, Evans?!"

"Black, you are so stupid! The only way to open a locker is by alohomora or using the combination. You can't open it with your looks!"

"aawwwwwwwww….." he whined, "Why not?"

"BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T!!!!" she yelled and turned to James who had just walked up "deal with him," she demanded.

"Prongs, mate, why can't I open my locker with my good looks?"

James fell on the floor laughing.

Lily turned red, fuming.

Sirius frowned and used alohomora. His Transfiguration book fell out and hit James on the head. Sirius fell on the floor laughing at James while James pouted about Transfiguration books being too heavy.

Lily whacked Sirius on the head.

"Watch the hair, Evans! It took me hours!" he complained

"USE YOUR OWN LOCKER!" she screamed and walked away muttering and gesturing to herself about how stupid guys could be.

Once Sirius and James recovered, Sirius broke his vow and stole a chocolate frog.  
"Hey!" shouted James as he chased Sirius, demanding for the chocolate and complaining the whole way.

A/N

Wow… this all came to be because of Lily and the Locker (my first fic!) ok I wrote this as a request by cylobaby. If anyone wants me to write about someone else and a locker, I gladly will and it will be added as a new chapter to this, just review and I'll write it!

If I get any requests I will try to write them ASAP though I will be away from a computer for a week, but the more reviews, the faster I'll update!


	2. James

One day, James Potter tried to open his own locker, 712. He casually strode down the hallway (not strutted! lol), humming one of the muggle songs Lily showed him as he spun the combination haphazardly.

It didn't open. He tried again, to no avail.

"What the--? Bloody locker! You're supposed to open for _the_ James Potter!"

He had just started to date Lily last month and it was their one month-iversary. Their date was in half an hour and he still hadn't gotten ready. Her gift was in his locker and he had left his wand in his locker as well.

"NO!!! OPEN!!!" he bellowed as he tried for the third time.

Fourth.

Fifth.

He started spinning it so fast that steam started coming off the lock.

"Eaurrrrrrrrrrrggghhh!!!!!!!!" he groaned and stomped up to his dormitory to get ready and then work on the locker.

-20 minutes later-

He stepped across the hall towards his locker.

He had nine minutes until Lily would meet him in the common room for the date. He really didn't want to have to run to the common room.

"Open, Locker!!" he screamed then backed across the hall against the cream colored stone. At full speed, he bolted toward the locker, jumped into the air, and stuck out his foot, his shoe colliding with the metal, denting it. It still didn't open. He screamed some indistinguishable at it and began banging his head against the locker.

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

"Open,"

bang

bang

bang

bang

"OPEN!! PLEASE!!! What have I ever done to you?!? I HATE YOU!!!!!!" he finished right as Lily walked up.

"What?" she asked, hurt.

"No, not you! The locker! I swear! It won't open!" he tried to explain.

"Did you try the combination?"

He looked up at her with 'duh' written across his expressions.

"Sorry. Stupid question. Why didn't you use alohomora?"

"My wand is in the locker. Don't ask."

"Ok… I didn't bring mine either, so can you tell me the combination and let me try?"

"Can I trust you?" she lightly whacked him across the head.

"You gave it to Sirius for Merlin's sake!"

"Oh, yeah! Ok…. 12….09……26…"he slowly said, weary.

click

It opened.


	3. Pettigrew and the DE

Disclaimer: not mine… wish it was.. but its not…

OMG HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS 7-21-07!!!!!

This chappie is dedicated to cylobaby b/c she is the only one who reviewed.

"I have called you here today," Lord Voldemort said in a deadly calm, high-pitched voice as his Death Eaters appeared, "to test your loyalty."

"It wasn't me, I swear!" said a newly-recruited Slytherin.

"I didn't say it was anyone," The Dark Lord snapped. "Follow me," he ordered. They exited the dark, damp passageway into…

"Hogwarts?"

"Yes, Bella, Hogwarts…"Lord Voldemort answered, "are you questioning my decisions?"

"No!" she answered quickly and began bowing at his feet. Other Death Eaters joined in. Lord Voldemort led his evil minions down a long cream-colored stone corridor.

"To prove your loyalty…you must open… the Evil Locker of Doom!!! Once you have done so, you may leave. Make a line!"

The Death Eaters hurriedly formed a line in front of locker 713. Bellatrix was first.

"My Lord, what is the combination?" she asked humbly.

"Anything that comes to mind." He replied quietly.

She spun the lock expertly. It opened. She smiled slightly and aparated away because Voldemort had taken down the wards. Rodolphus randomly spun the lock. Pettigrew leaned over to try to see if there was some trick to opening it or if something special was inside. It was empty when Rodolphus opened it. Pettigrew wanted to get this over with, since he war obviously loyal. One by one, the Death Eaters tediously opened the locker. Pettigrew thought this was one of the strangest tests he had ever seen. Finally, there were only two Death Eaters left. Pettigrew and Snape. Because the Death Eater's are not good with lines, the two were equidistance away from the locker.

"You two! I knew one of you betrayed me. One will aparate away freely. The other… you shall find out. Who goes first?" demanded Voldemort.

"I'll go fist, my lord." Snape volunteered. Pettigrew thought this was brave of him because he had, after all, sided with Dumbledore. Then he realized he did not want to see what Voldemort was going to do to traitors.

"No, I'll go first." He retorted.

"That's ok, I will."

"No, I will."

"No, I will."

"No, I will!"

"No, you will! I insist!" Snape said coolly as he gestured toward the locker.

"Oh, don't try that! You're going first!" Pettigrew almost yelled.

Snape smirked slightly to himself and stepped toward the Evil Locker of Doom. He spun the lock in the dreaded locker, not looking afraid at all. Snape spinning the lock ever so slowly was enough to drive Pettigrew insane. He thought Snape was daft until he heard the click of a locker opening. He whirled around.

"Ha." Snape said with a smirk and aparated away.

"PETTIGREW! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!" Voldemort screamed in his piccolo voice.

"NO! No, I swear I haven't!' he stammered as he quickly stepped to the locker. It didn't open when he tried it once. He pushed the opener-thing a few times, panicking. 'When had he betrayed Voldemort? Never! It must've been Snape…' he thought, appalled.

"Well?" Voldemort demanded, tapping his foot impatiently. (A/N Cylobaby says tapping his Prada shoes. Lol).

"Er-I'm still…still spinning a combination…"

"You know it's only three numbers."

"Oh. Right. Yes. I just- uh- forgot how they worked." He lied.

Voldemort strode over and shoved him out of the way.

"Like this." He spun it quickly, not even looking at it, and opened it while giving Pettigrew a death glare.

"Now you try." He motioned toward the locker. Trembling, Pettigrew reached his hand toward the locker (A/N it bit him! jk… anyway) and spun it very slowly.

"Hurry it up! I haven't got all day, I have 6 Slytherins to convert and mark!" Voldemort ordered.

Pettigrew jumped, startled, and then spun the last required number. He pushed the little opener thing. It didn't open.

"PETTIGREW!!" shrieked Voldemort, brandishing his wand at him. "You LIED to me?"

"No! It wasn't me!"

"The Locker never lies!"

"It just did! Snape opened it!"

"Snape is to be trusted! You, however, are NOT!"

AN and there you have it. even Voldemort has evil lockers of doom. if you want me to write another one, just review and tell me which character you want to have locker trouble. :)

press the little button... the review one... you know you want to...


	4. Remus

This chapter is dedicated to TEssakitsune who suggested I write a Remus and the locker story. Well, here it is.

Disclaimer: IT'S MINE!! ALL MINE!!! Well… mostly… partially… fine. Half mine…ok, a little bit mine. OK FINE. Not mine. I wish it was though, does that count?

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Remus Lupin walked up to his newly installed locker in the fifth floor corridor. He was about to spin the lock, but being the studious person he is, pulled out the paper telling him which locker is his. He checked and saw that he was at the right locker, saving himself from complete and utter embarrassment. Remus pulled out a thick book entitled "Lockers and How to Open Them". He skimmed the book as if he has read it multiple times. Looking at a certain page about spinning the lock, he stuck out his hand and followed the book's instructions exactly. The locker didn't open. Confused, he tried again. It didn't work. He checked the help section of the book, but nothing seemed to work. He had opened this locker earlier that day and didn't understand why it should be any different now.

"Prongs, why isn't my locker opening? I followed the directions exactly." Remus asked as James Potter walked over to his own locker.

"I don't know, use alohomora."

"Dumbledore charmed the lockers. He said that alohomora wouldn't work for the first week of this term."

James spun the lock of his own locker a few times. It didn't open.

"See? Something must be wrong with the locker system."

James frowned, hit his locker, spun the combination, and opened it.

"How did you do that? It's not an opening method! This makes no sense! My locker must be messed up!" Remus was upset. He wanted one of his books to read.

"Here, let me try." James said and snatched the locker paper from him.

James spun the combination and pushed up on the thing to open it. It moved a little but wouldn't open. He moved it a few times up and down and began to laugh.

"Moony, you've had this locker for what? Two hours? And it's already jammed with too many books! "

A few minutes and spells later, Remus' locker was opened and his extra books levitated to his dormitory.

Well, there you have it. All the marauders have had their own locker problems. Sorry it was so short. I have Harry and the locker written, requested by cylobaby. I just need to type it. Wow Remus and the locker was harder to make up than I thought it would be, he is too smart to do something like attempt to open it with his looks. Anyway, I should have Harry and the locker up within a few days. I'm still open to suggestions of people ;-)

REVIEW PLEASE


	5. Harry

Disclaimer: this is not mine. The characters are JK Rowling's. I do not own Potter Puppet Pals. The idea is cylobaby's. This chapter is dedicated to cylobaby for the idea. (She requested a chapter in which Harry is emo with a locker.) Sorry it took me so long to update!!! The next chapter will be sooner.

Harry Potter was walking to the long cream coloured stone hallway near the third floor corridor. He began to climb the moving staircase; he had grown accustomed to them moving as he was in his sixth year. It was the first week of school and Harry already hated it. Snape was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and Harry hoped it would lead to the end of Snape. He wasn't particularly paying attention and then realized his foot was stuck. He had stepped in the trick step. Needless to say, his day was off to a bad start. If he didn't have to go to his locker, he wouldn't have to use these stairs. Most students liked the lockers, but Harry Potter did not. He stormed up the remainder of the stairs and down the hallway to his locker. Feeling depressed that he was the first student this year to step on that step and that everything bad always happens to him, he thought to himself many depressed thoughts as he spun the lock absentmindedly on his ugly, grey coloured locker. He even thought lockers were a depressing colour. It didn't open. He became even more depressed. He tried it twice more, but it didn't work. He became very, very depressed.

"Why won't you open? Nothing is going right! Everything bad always happens to me! First the trick step, now this! And that's only today! I don't even want to get started about last week. I'm having the worst day of my miserable life. I've had the worst summer. I was all alone with the Dursley's. They abuse me and treat me like their slave and I came to Hogwarts hoping to be happier, but no. you abuse me too. I'm going to fail Defense Against the Dark Arts because you won't open and Snape's the professor. If I fail Defense Against the Dark Arts, I can't be an auror, then I can't defeat Voldemort and I'll fail at life! No one understands. I'll just go sit in a corner all day and look depressed. No one will notice. It's like I'm invisible or something. Every time I try to talk to someone or they talk to me for once, they say I go off on this huge rant about how bad my life is. I bet you're ecstatic though. Seeing me like this. You. You've been here the whole summer with your little locker friends planning this conspiracy against me! You think you're so funny, you're probably on Voldemort's side!"

A few students from Slytherin walked by.

"Look. Potter's talking to himself!" they laughed.

"See? See what you've done?! Now they think I'm crazy! Just because everyone I'm close to dies doesn't mean I'm crazy! Why can't they leave me alone? Why don't I have any friends? Life is so unfair. Now I'm going to be late and I'm going to fail. Great. It's not like it's the only thing I'll fail at. I'll probably end up dying and Voldemort will take over. Who is it that's face Voldemort all these years? Who's saved everyone's lives? Me! And what do they treat me like? Like a vomit flavoured Bertie Bott's every Flavoured Bean! I'm sorry I saved your lives as a baby; maybe I'll lose on purpose next time. You could try being a bit nicer to me. I don't even have parents to help me though this! I am so depressed! Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. I'm going to go crucio myself or go sit in a hole and drown in my self pity, regret, and depression. And it's ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" Harry finished his ranting.

"My fault?" asked a very confused Hermione Granger, "What exactly is my fault?"

"Nothing! Everything!... I don't know. My locker won't open and I was yelling at it and its making me depressed!"

"Oh, Harry, you were talking to a locker?"

"Yes. Come to laugh at me too? Well, I can't take it anymore Hermione."

"Harry. It will be fine. If you are trying to open your locker, why are you at mine? I know we go to mine more often, but none of your things are in it. You realize you're in the wrong hallway?"

"I am such a loser. I fail at life. I'm going to die. Voldemort is going to kill me. Everyone hates me. All I did was save their lives. Why me? I didn't ask for this. I didn't want to be the savior of the wizarding world. No one appreciates me so I'll just let Voldemort win. They obviously would like that better."

"No, Harry. We all love you, you're my best friend. I'll take you to your locker, ok? Then we'll go to class. You'll be fine."

"Ok, but I won't be fine." He said and followed Hermione to the correct hallway. His locker opened on the first try.

"Brilliant. I could have had all this time if it wasn't for the fact that I'm so stupid to go into the wrong hallway. I fail at life."

Wow. That was my pathetic attempt at writing Harry being emo. For some reason cylo thinks he is emo… wonder why? Maybe the fifth book… hmm…. So, please make my day and review or maybe I'll end up like Harry. You can still request characters! REVIEW!


	6. Hermione

Disclaimer: not mine…

This chapter is dedicated to Sugar Sprite for choosing Hermione

Hermione smiled to herself as she closed her locker door. She picked up her ever-growing stack of books and happily began to walk to the library in order to do her homework when she realized… she left her homework planner in her locker. She knew she wouldn't remember most to the assignments and needed her homework planner for the work. Sighing and beginning to walk back to her locker, she saw Harry and Ron at the other end of the stretching hallway. At first she thought to ask them, but realized she couldn't. They wouldn't know the homework. She set down her pile of books, which was as tall as she was, and began to spin the combination on her locker

It didn't open, of course. Knowing that she was wasting a good twenty seconds of homework, Hermione tried and tried, again and again, to open her locker. If she didn't get that locker open, she wouldn't have her planner, then she couldn't do her homework, and she would fail. She couldn't just ask her teachers, they would think she was incompetent.

"No!" she said loudly and whipped her wand out to deal with the problem.

"Alohomora," she tried, but it didn't work, "ALOHOMORA!" it still didn't open. She punched it like it was Malfoy and continued to use every magical spell she knew to open it. She even went through Harry's locker (Which opened, by the way) and attempted to use Harry's magical knife to open it, to no avail. Her stupid locker just would not open! She flipped through every book in her pile, finally finding a useful locker spell on the last page of the bottom book.

"Lockerus Explodicus" the door came off the locker and she took out her planner, and then tried to replace the door. She opened her planner to realize…

She had no homework that night.

Wow, sorry it was so short. And yes, that was a reference to Potter Puppet Pals, which I do not own.

Review! Request a character!

Next chapter: Ron. I hope to have this up within the next few days, hopefully tomorrow.

Review!


	7. Ron

Disclaimer: not mine.

This chappie is dedicated to cylobaby because she requested Ron.

If you requested one, it will be up soon, I'm trying to do these in order… next is Dumbledore, then Ms. Norris trapped in a locker. Lol.

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Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked up to Harry and Ron's lockers (Hermione's is still in the other hall). Harry opened his locker and took out his permission slip for Hogsmeade. It was the first of their seventh year. Thank goodness McGonagall gave him a pre-signed form this year. Ron spun his lock. It didn't open. He tried it again. It didn't work. If he couldn't get his locker open, he'd be the only one who couldn't go to Hogsmeade.

"Ron, do you want us to try?" Harry asked.

"No, I'll get it." Was the response. Ron looked very determined to open that locker. He reached toward the locker once more.

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Fifteen minutes later.

Hermione was tapping her foot and Harry was leaning against the wall looking bored.

"Ronald, we are going to be late." Hermione complained.

"No we won't!" he retorted, spinning the lock once more.

"Mate, you've tried it five hundred times!" moaned Harry.

"Five hundred and twenty three," Hermione corrected, "why won't you even let us try to open it? The train leaves in fifteen minutes. If you don't hurry, we will be LATE!"

"Oh, well. If it doesn't open, I'll just have to skip Hogsmeade." Ron decided.

"No you will not. This is the first Hogsmeade trip of seventh year and our first date. You may have the emotional range of a teaspoon, but I do not. We are not missing this. You are going to let me open your locker!" Hermione exclaimed, her voice getting louder and faster as she finished.

"We won't miss it, I'll get it open. I don't need help." Ron said, scared of the look Hermione was giving him.

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Ten minutes later

Harry had fallen asleep. Hermione got angrier by the second.

"RONALD! We have FIVE minutes before the train leaves. It will take us SIX minutes to get down there if we RUN! I've read about lockers and how to OPEN them if they are STUCK! Let ME do it!!"

Needless to say, Harry was awake now.

"What, you want to explode my locker too?"

"That was _last_ year. I _have_ read since then. Move." She ordered.

"But 'Mione…"

"MOVE!"

"Ok…" he said, very frightened.

Hermione stomped the three feet over to the locker and spun the lock. She was in a very bad mood. It opened on her first try.

"AARGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU LET ME TRY EARLIER IT WOULD HAVE OPENED! NOW WE ARE GOING TO BE LATE! GET THE FORM AND LET'S GO!" Hermione screamed.

Ron dug through his locker. Then he turned as red as his hair.

"Erm… 'Mione?" he said sheepishly.

"What." She replied in an angry, monotonous tone.

Ron pulled the form out of his pocket. It had been there the whole time.

"RONALD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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A/N yeah. That's what happens when you trust Ron to remember something where lockers are involved. Ha ha ha…

Review! Request a character! E-lockers to you all… except these work…..

ok, so i made a locker out of symbols but the website keeps deleting it. great. so here is a pathetic locker:  yeah. a miniature one! lol. i will figure out how to get my locker on here. Review and request!!!


	8. Dumbledore

Ok so here is Dumbledore and the locker. Wow.

I don't own it. I wish I did…

READ!

LLL

After installing lockers in Hogwarts, Dumbledore saw how beneficial these torture weapon-ish storage devices were. He wished he had lockers when he was a student (hundreds of years ago). He wanted lockers so much that it overwhelmed his love for socks so that when he saw himself in the Mirror of Erised, he saw himself as a student with a locker. He invented a special time turner to go back one hundred and thirty six years to install lockers in Hogwarts.

LLL

Fourteen year old Albus Dumbledore and his friend, Grindelwald, ran out of the Gryffindor Common Room, laughing hysterically. They knew they would receive detention soon, but they had done one of the coolest pranks in the history of Hogwarts: they set the curtains on fire "accidentally"… They continued walking down the hall when Grindelwald noticed something. The hallway had…_Lockers._ Lockers had just been invented in the muggle world and Grindelwald, being muggleborn, knew all about lockers.

"Albus! Look! Lockers!!" he said excitedly as two small papers with the combinations and numbers appeared in their hands. Grindelwald approached locker 712 and began spinning the combination. It didn't open. He tried it twice more.

"Maybe the combinations haven't been set yet," he said disappointedly.

"Lemon Drop." Albus said.

"What?!"

The locker 713 opened. It was filled to the top with woolen socks. He smiled. Life was complete.

"How did you do that?" Grindelwald said incredulously, "that's not how lockers work! And why do you get all the socks? You always get the cooler things! This is so unfair! That's it! We aren't speaking!"

"But all I-"

"Mr. Dumbledore. Mr. Grindelwald. Would either of you like to explain why the curtains were on fire?" a strict professor asked. (McGonagall's great-grandmother.)

"Well, you see, It was an accident, really, and" Grindelwald began.

"What curtains?" Dumbledore asked.

"Ah. Mr. Grindelwald, come with me. Detention for a month. Mr. Dumbledore, keep your socks somewhere else!"

"This is not fair, Professor! He did it! Professor!!!"

LLL

150 year old Albus smiled. He remembered it like it was yesterday.

'Well,' he thought to himself, 'That war had to begin somehow…'

LLL

Lol. Wow.

Sorry it took me so long to update. Here are the next chapters in order:

Ms. Norris in a locker

Draco

Hagrid

So, request a character! I hope to have the next chapter up within the next few days.

Request and Review!!!

Thanks!


	9. Mrs Norris Filch

Disclaimer: not mine.

This chapter is dedicated to JadedLadyOfTheSpeculativeNight for the suggestion. Hope this is what you were looking for!

Also, thank you to cylobaby for helping me with this chapter!

Hphphph

Filch heard a locker slam and mysterious chuckling. He thought nothing of it at the time, knowing he would catch those so-called "Gred and Forge" eventually. Once they had forgotten about this prank, he would give them detention for a week.

A few minutes later, he heard a cat meowing, but it sounded like it was echoing on something metal.

"MRAOOWWWW!!" he recognized the beautiful voice of his precious cat. Make that detention for a month. He began to walk down the corridor then he heard it again.

"MRAOOWWWW!!" it came from inside the locker. Detention for life. He began muttering death threats and spinning the combination.

"You know that won't work." said Snape, looking highly amused at the sight, his cloak billowing though he was standing still, "there were too many problems with the lockers; you have to use magic." Snape began to walk away, cloak billowing even more.

"But…But…But…" Filch spluttered.

"But what?!" Snape said, irritated.

"You know I'm a…a squib."

"And?"

"I CAN'T OPEN THE BLOODY LOCKER!"

"So?"

"So…help me!" he exclaimed.

"Uhhh…no." Snape falsely considered, walking away once more.

It didn't matter; Filch had taken Snape's wand.

"Allohamurah!" He tried. (A/N I know how to spell alohomora, he said it wrong) The locker turned into a yak. There was a hole from where it was missing. Snape was walking quickly (1) down the hall for his wand. The yak began running in circles around Filch. The cat was nowhere to bee seen.

"Mraoowwww?..." it came muffled, quiet. As if it was inside the yak.

"Severus! Help!" Filch pleaded.

"Give. Me. My. Wand. Thank you." He began to walk away.

"But Mrs. Norris!" he began.

"Yes, how unfortunate. Well, write to Kwikspell." He left. With an aggravated sigh, Filch began writing.

Hphphph

Dear Mr. Filch,

We apologize for the inconvenience.

We will send someone out shortly

to deal with your problem.

Thank you for your concern,

Kwikspell

Hphphp

Filch kept a vigil there for two years waiting for someone to show up. He never gave up. Apparently, his "magic" kept Mrs. Norris and the yak alive. His days were exactly the same. The yak continually ran around him.

"Mraoww. Mraoww. Mraoww." Mrs. Norris said every time a circle was completed around Filch.

Finally someone showed up. (Note: cylo's help)

"Dude. Where's the yak?" said a guy in a blue jumpsuit. His name was Steve. Filch couldn't say anything to Steve. His mouth hung open and he absentmindedly pointed at the yak, following its constant circles.

Steve looked at Filch like he was stupid.

"Reverso." He said like it was obvious.

"But…But…"Filch spluttered.

"Dude, it's, like, one spell."  
"But I'm a squib. You can use magic and-"

"Dude. I'm a squib. You need, like, serious help." Steve said and walked back to his utility truck, yes in Hogwarts. Filch heard quiet, mysteriously evil laughter and with a billow of a cloak, the laughter disappeared down the hall. Filch heard a metallic sounding "Mraoowww."

Mrs. Norris was still in the locker.

hphphphp

(1) For band nerds like me, you could say Snape was jazzrunning. Something to that effect. Lol.

Next is: Draco

Hagrid

Fred and George

i will have the next chapter up within a week!

Hope you all liked it! REVIEW!!! and request characters!


	10. Draco

Disclaimer: not mine!

Dedicated to OhYeah100 for suggesting Draco should have locker troubles.

DMDMDM

Draco Malfoy and his two bodyguards, dumb as stumps Crabbe and Goyle, strutted (well, Crabbe and Goyle trudged) down the long stone hallway on the sixth floor filled with lockers.

"Crabbe. Open my locker." Draco ordered. In order for his goons to remember his combination, they had to forget everything else. They didn't even have their own lockers.

Crabbe stepped forward and tried the combination. It didn't open. He spun it once more. It didn't open.

"Crabbe. Are you stupid? Wait. Don't answer that. Why isn't my locker open yet?" Draco demanded.

"Uhh…Locker won't open…"he said stupidly.

"You useless, pathetic wimp! Goyle! You open it!"

Determined, Goyle walked to the locker and slowly spun the combination, but alas, it would not open.

"Well." Said Draco, bluntly.

"It won't open, master."

"Yeah, oh grand and glorious Draco."

"You both are pathetic, worthless, and weak! _I'll_ open my locker."

He strode over to the locker and tried the combination. It didn't work.

"See?" Goyle pointed out.

"Oh, shut up." Draco snapped. He was angry and surprised that the locker didn't open for him, The Draco Malfoy.

"You pathetic, worthless, muggle contraption used for tormenting purebloods that are worthy! You filthy mudblood scum of a piece of metal! Wait until my father hears about this!"

He pulled back his arm and punched the offending metal.

"Ow." He whimpered.

Crabbe and Goyle began sniggering.

"You two. Punch it."

"Uh…Ok." The two trolls with brains the size of half of a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean began punching the locker, apparently not in pain.

Obviously getting nowhere, Draco pulled out his wand.

"MOVE!" he ordered.

Fuming, his hair gel melting/evaporating, he did not have to speak, some spell shot out of his wand. It hit the locker and rebounded back onto him.

"Uhh… boss?" Goyle asked; but Draco Malfoy could not answer. He was a ferret, already bouncing down the hall

DMDMDM

A/N so I drew a ferret at the end. It was cute.

I'd like to thank everyone for suggestions, especially Mike who suggested so many! I promise I will have them up soon. The next chapters (in order) will be:

Hagrid (written already, posted later today or tomorrow)

Fred/George (written already, posted today or most likely tomorrow)

Bellatrix (in my head…)

Voldemort (have it.)

Lavender (yes! Torturing her!)

Oliver Wood (Ha ha ha!)

Katie Bell (yay!)

Ginny (yeah!)

Peeves (that's going to be fun to write!)

i will have more time now, i have no more math homework for the rest of the year! this means i will update hopefully more frequently... at least i will update every weekend if i have a chapter. i have more time to actually write them during the week. wow. i'm rambling on about nothingness...

anyway

Thanks again! review! request!


	11. Hagrid

Disclaimer: not mine

Dedicated to cylobaby for suggesting Hagrid.

RHRHRH

Hagrid walked up to his newly obtained locker and spun the combination. It didn't open. It tried to bite him. He smiled. This locker was as temperamental as the Monster Book of Monsters. He just needed to find its weakness. He tried stroking it (almost bit off his hand), music, waving his pink umbrella, nothing seemed to work. Every time he tried something or got near it, it tried to bite him. This only made Hagrid happier.

"I'm going to name you Sparkles! You're my favorite creature!" And Hagrid would feed his locker every day, not knowing that it was just snatching the food trying to bite his hand.

RHRHRH

Lucius Malfoy walked over. He was inspecting Hagrid and the school again.

"You know it's an inanimate object." He said bluntly.

"A what?" Hagrid asked, "His name is Sparkles!"

"You…You named it… _Sparkles_?" he said incredulously, "Oh my gosh, you are so stupid. Inanimate means your so-called 'Sparkles' is NOT alive." He concluded by snapping his fingers and attempted to strut away.

Sparkles ate him.

"Good Sparkles!"

RHRHRH  
sorry it was so short. The next one is longer! The next will hopefully be up today. I will have something posted this week (during the week) probably tomorrow too.

Next: Fred/George (written already)

Bellatrix (working on it)

Voldemort (have it.)

Lavender (in my head)

Oliver Wood

Katie Bell

Ginny

Peeves

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (you can still request people!)


	12. Gred and Forge

Thank you all for the amazing reviews! I'm so sorry I haven't posted in a week! I've written many of the chapters though. This chapter is dedicated to iPoddancin and Mike for suggesting Fred and George! Thanks!

Disclaimer: not mine.

FGFGFG

Fred and George ran down the hallway. They had just blown up a toilet and sent the seat to Ginny, just like they promised. They knew Filch would be there any second, but they had a new secret passage no one knew about. Behind locker 317 in the fourth hallway on the second floor, the twins had created a new passageway that led into Zonko's. Grinning as they reached the locker, George began to spin the combination first. It didn't open. He tried again, but it did not work.

"Fred, mate, there's something wrong with the locker. I know we put up wards and anti-jinxing/pranking spells, but it just won't open." George said quickly as he heard Filch yelling in the hallway next to theirs.

Fred tried the locker multiple times, spinning it so fast that the lock almost fell off.

"Open, open, open, OPEN!!!" he screamed. Simultaneously, the devious twins pulled out their wands and Filch began walking down the hallway. They made the passageway to only work and open with the combination or a certain spell.

"Ready, Gred?"

"Ready, Forge."

"One…Two…THREE!" the said the spell in their minds so Filch wouldn't be able to get in. The locker flew open and both twins jumped inside. The locker slammed shut just as Filch ran up to it. He wasn't too disheartened. He had a master key. Surprisingly, the key opened the lock. Filch threw open the door, excited to give them yet another detention when he looked into the locker. It was a normal locker, no hallway, no passageway. Just a plain empty locker. Confused, he walked away, grumbling to himself.

FGFGFG

And there you have it. I wish I had a secret passage in my locker. wow.

REVIEW! REQUEST!!!

Next is Bellatrix!(posted hopefully today...)


	13. Bellatrix

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!!!!

You all are great! This chapter is dedicated to HumbleGoddess and sister for suggesting Bellatrix!

BLBLBLBLBLBL

Bellatrix Black walked down the long hallway, her dark cloak covering her black hair and eyes. She was almost late for a Death Eater meeting among the Slytherins and she had left her mask in her locker.

Her long fingers reached for the lock and spun the combination. It didn't open. She tried it twice more. It wouldn't open. She threw back her hood with a growl and tried it thrice more (thrice is such a cool word). It didn't work. In an instant, her wand was out and she was fuming.

"CURSE YOU LOCKER! HOW DARE YOU NOT OPEN FOR ME!!!?" Many curses shot out of her wand at the evil locker, but it still did not open.

She went insane, screaming curses around the hall at her locker, other lockers, classroom doors, passing Hufflepuffs… After a while she just stood there, fuming angrily and mumbling incoherent curses and death threats. Finally she muttered "bloody locker." And attempted to stomp away but a strong hand stopped her. She whirled around, wand out.

"Oh. Hi, Rudolphus," she said, still angry.

"What's wrong? You know we have a meeting in a few minutes, don't you?"

"Yes." She said, daring him to say more.

"My mask is in my locker. It won't open!"

She attempted to get away again.

"Let me GO!"

"First of all, Bella, that was my locker. Second, I have your mask. You left it in the common room," he explained, still scared of her wrath.

She snatched the mask out of his hand and stormed away.

BLBLBLBLBLBL

The next chappie will be up within a week! (Voldemort!)


	14. Voldemort!

Disclaimer: I do not own Voldemort. I do not own Hogwarts. I do not own Filch (thank goodness). I do not own a wand. I do not own the word 'Crucio'. I do not own Harry. I do not won anything in this story. I do, however, own the keyboard on which I am typing this. The keyboard is mine. Everything else is JKR's (amazingness)

Thank you to dragonangl12 for suggesting it!

LVLVLVLV

Lord Voldemort snuck into Hogwarts once again, the summer before Harry and friends' seventh year. He had rented a locker. 713… He kept his elixir of life in it. He knew he needed it within one minute because he had a stopwatch. Procrastinator. Anyway. He spun the lock almost lazily, knowing it had to open for him.

It didn't, of course.

45 seconds.

He was a bit nervous, so spun it faster this time. It didn't work.

35 seconds.

"Curse You, Locker!!" he screeched.

"You shall open for Lord Voldemort!"

The locker seemed to smile, to taunt him.

15 seconds.

He whipped out his wand.

"CRUCIO!!!!" nothing happened.

10 seconds.

A sudden thought came to him. He felt almost stupid.

"alohomora." It opened.

6 seconds

It was empty.

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he frantically looked around the hall and saw Filch, newly proclaimed janitor, pushing a trashcan, his elixir on top of the pile.

"STOP! WHY DID YOU T---"

And Voldie died.

A/N mwahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!

ok well, I already had this typed as an individual story but practically no one reviewed and voldy was requested so i posted it here! Wow. Three chapters in a day! REVIEW! REQUEST!

next up: Oliver Wood! (within a week!)


	15. Lavender

Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the lack of updates!!!

And I know there are some of you eagerly awaiting Oliver Wood, but I realized I skipped Lavender. So, thank you to Mike, and here is Lavender and the Locker.

Disclaimer: not mine.

LLLLLLL

Lavender walked to her locker in the sixth hallway near the North Tower. She bought 'Won Won' some new 'bling' and was going to give it to him that night. She just had to get it out of her locker. She reached for the lock, but her fingernail hit it, chipping the gaudy hot pink polish.

"Like, O. M. G……. I broke a nail!" she exclaimed, freaking out.

After whining about it to herself, she spun the lock a few times. It didn't open. She began pouting.

Ron walked down the hallway. His locker was right next to hers. Lavender hadn't noticed him yet.

"Hey," he said casually.

"Won Won!" she squealed throwing her arms around him. When she finally let him go, she still looked miserable about the locker.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Yes, something's wrong! My locker won't open! I got you something… but it's in the locker."

"Have you tried magic?" he asked.

"Magic doesn't work on these lockers. And, to make things worse, it broke my nail!" She whined and held out her finger for Ron to inspect. Only a tiny fraction of a chip was missing.

"Do you want me to open it?" he asked, really wanting to get away from the next horrid gift.

"Yes," she said sweetly, "that one," she pointed.

"Erm… Lavender?"

"Yeah, Won Won?"

"That's… my locker."

"What? You mean all this time I've been trying to open _your _locker?"

"I guess…"

"Wait. _Your_ locker broke my nail!"

'Oh, no.' though Ron, 'I'll never hear the end of this.'

Lavender began ranting incoherently and gesturing at her fingernail.

"And so, Ron, we're through. It's OVER!" she stormed away, mumbling angrily to herself.

LLLLLLLLLLL

I promise I will try to update sooner! This was the first time it's been this long!

Review! Request!

Next: Oliver Wood, Katie Bell, Ginny Weasley, Peeves, Snape the student, Crookshanks, Moody, Tonks, Luna (very popular…), Colin Creevy, Snape the teacher, McGonagall, Neville, Moaning Myrtle, locker's p.o.v., and Charlie


	16. Oliver Wood

Sorry for the length of time between updates!

But it is up before the movie... like I said…

Thanks to Mike!

Oliver Wood!

OWOWOWOW

Today was the day of the Quidditch House Cup in Oliver Wood's seventh year. He had woken up early, forced his team to eat breakfast, and was completely dressed in his uniform.

He turned around to pick up his broom off his bed. It wasn't there.

After three minutes of solid panicking, he remembered that he put it in his locker. No problem. His locker was on the way to the pitch and it always opened for him…

------------------------------------------

He walked down the hallway and spun the combination. For the first time in seven years, his locker didn't open. Surprised, and assuming he was just nervous about his last Gryffindor Quidditch match, he tried a few more times. It wouldn't open. Frustrated, he looked at his watch. The match had started.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!" he fell to his knees, head in his hands. He thought about using a school broom.

No.

He couldn't.

"Oliver! Oliver!" Harry was sprinting down the hall.

"Why are you here? You're seeker! Get back out there!!" Oliver exclaimed

"The match starts in five minutes. When you didn't give your traditional speech before the match, they sent me to find you." Harry explained in one breath.

"I can't, Potter. My locker… it won't open."

"Do you want me to try?" Harry offered.

"But if I-"

"No!"

"Fine. Alohomora!" the locker opened.

Oliver wood looked at Harry with mixed expressions of awe and anger.

"I wanted to open-"he started

"Just get your stuff and let's go!" Harry began running.

The broom wasn't there.

"MY BROOM'S GONE!!" he wailed loudly.

Harry skidded to a stop.

"Is that what you've been truing to get from your locker this whole time? It's at the pitch," he explained.

Oliver was stunned and silent. Harry literally had to drag him to the Quidditch Pitch, which was quite a feat considering how small Harry is.

OWOWOWOWOW

Thanks for reading!

Review! You know you want to!

Request! I'm going to be on a plane for 10 hours, I need to do something!

Next: Katie Bell, Ginny Weasley, Peeves, Snape the student, Crookshanks, Moody, Tonks, Luna (very popular…), Colin Creevy, Snape the teacher, McGonagall, Neville, Moaning Myrtle, locker's p.o.v., Charlie, Professor Flitwick, Sirius the adult, Bill, and Dumbledore the adult


	17. Katie Bell

Hey guys

I'm so sorry about the insane amount of time between updates! To attempt to make up for my lack of updating, I will post three chapters tonight.

Thanks for sticking with me this long :)

And now, without further ado, Katie Bell and the Locker, thanks to Mike!

KBKBKBKBKBKB

Katie Bell was walking down the path to the Quidditch Pitch for practice when she remembered it was her day to carry down the case for the quaffle, snitch, and bludgers. Sighing, she changed paths and trudged across the mud to the field house.

Even though all the teams used the same balls, the case was in a locker.

She tried the combination. It didn't work. She tried it a few more times to no avail. She assumed some Slytherin had changed the combination to cheat or be mean.

"Alohomora." She tried. It didn't open.

Grumbling, she spun the combination a few more times and kicked the locker as most of the Gryffindor team walked in to find her and get their brooms.

"Can't open..." began Fred.

"...the locker?" finished George.

"No. And that really isn't funny anymore."

Fred and George, claiming to be locker experts, tried it once and declared it impossible. Alicia and Angelina tried the combination and Alohomora, but it didn't work. Even Harry Potter couldn't open it. Katie began spinning the combination faster and faster. On the somewhere-in-the-hundredths attempt, Oliver Wood stormed into the field house.

"Bell! Why are you holding everyone up and wasting valuable practice time?!" he yelled.

The team all began explaining at once.

"Hey! One at a time! Bell, explain."

"The locker won't open." she simply stated.

Oliver looked angry for a second, then surprised, then began laughing.

"Bell, today is Tuesday. It's my day to get the equiptment. It's already at the pitch! Second, that's Madame Hooch's personal locker. You're supposed to open the one next to it!" he pointed to the correct locker, though they looked identical. Katie stepped over to the right locker.

It opened on the first try.

KBKBKBKBKBKB

Review!!

Up next: Ginny Weasley


	18. Ginny Wealsey

Hey everyone! Here's part 2 of the 3 updates of tonight!

Ginny Weasley/ Ginny with Luna's help thanks to Mike, LoonyLoopyLupin, and Mystery gal

GWGWGWGWGW

Ginny Weasley walked down the long hallway on the seventh floor. She started to spin the locker combination.

It didn't open. She tried it again. It didn't work.

Frowning, she checked to make sure it was, in fact, her locker. It was, and the combination was correct as well.

Grumbling, she spun it a few more times.

"OPEN!" she screeched at it and hit it with her fist. Shew was going to be late to charms if she didn't get the locker open.

She began trying the combination then hitting it in an alternating pattern.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." said a quiet, dreamy voice.

"Oh. Hi, Luna. My stupid locker won't open!" She punctuated the sentence by hitting her locker.

"Don't. You'll upset the Nargsnorkles."  
"Oh... wait, the what?"

"The Nargsnorkles. Also called locker demons. They live in the locks and make it almost impossible to open., The only way to get them to open is to give the Nargsnorkles chocolate."

Luna explained

"You sounded strangely like Hermione... do you happen to have any chocolate?"

"Yes. I need it every day. I better open it though, you have made them angry."  
"Fine."Ginny said, just wanting the locker to open.

Sure enough the chocolate disappeared from Luna's hand and the locker opened.

GWGWGWGWGW

now I want some chocolate...

And I've finally figured out what is in my locker. Nargsnorkels.


	19. Peeves

Ok, here's part 3 of tonight's update!

Thanks for reading!

Here's Peeves thanks to adrienne06052

PPPPPPPPPP

Peeves the poltergeist flew down the hallway cackling madly to himself. He had the best idea for a prank to annoy yet another student. All he had to do was wait in some unsuspecting student's locker, wait for them to open it, and throw their belongings at their head. Ever since Hogwarts had gotten the lockers, he had been too busy bursting through chalkboards and throwing suits of armor at Hufflepuffs.

Peeves, being a poltergeist, flew toward locker 713, expecting to go directly through it. He bounced off of it. Sighing in annoyance, he began spinning the combination. Over the summer, he had memorized the combinations in order to bother the students during the year.

It didn't open.

Shocked, he tried it again. He needed to get into that locker; he wanted to bother Snape. He tried to fly through it once more, but had no luck. Peeves could go through lockers 712 and 714m he found out, but not into 713 from any direction.

'That Snivellus kid must have put wards around his locker!' Peeves thought . Ordinarily, Peeves would have moved on to another prank but after this long of failure, he was determined to get into it.

All of a sudden, Dumbledore walked by.

"There's been wards put on this locker!" Peeves complained.

"I know," Dumbledore said solemnly, "I allowed Severus to put up wards to try to stop the marauders from doing anything else to him." Dumbledore continued to walk away

Peeves was exceedingly frustrated. He had succeeded in taking down two of the three wards. HE needed to get into that locker now, because Snape was about to turn the corner. Finally he got the third ward down right when Snape came into view.

Snape's nose was buried in a book, giving Peeves more time.

He spun the lock, but it didn't open. He tried it at many times as he could before Snape was in earshot of his angry muttering.

Finally, realizing now that the wards were down, he could fly into the locker, he zoomed into it. He heard Snape approach the locker. Right when Snape spun the combination, Peeves burst out of 713, dropping all of the lockers contents on...

Peter Pettigrew.

Laughing, Snape stepped over from across the hall. He had made Pettigrew go first.

Cackling madly, Peeves zoomed off down the hall to torture a Hufflepuff or two.

PPPPPPPPPPPP

Thanks for reading!!!

Review!!

Aulophobic Clarinetist

Next is Snape the student


	20. Severus the Student

**Oh my goodness, everyone, its been a year and a day I'm so sorry for depriving you of an update for this long... I can't believe I have taken this long to post another chapter, and I'm extremely sorry, I know there's no excuse for this... **

**Hopefully some of my faithful reviewers are still with me, and once again I'm sorry for taking forever!**

**Here's Snape (the student) and the Evil Locker**

**thanks to adrienne06052 and Sshappiness**

SSSSSSSSSSS

Fourth year Severus Snape warily walked toward his locker. Almost every previous day that year, the marauders had done some sort of prank involving his locker. Only last week had he been given permission to put up wards. For the first dew days, everything was great. But after three and a half days, the marauders had figured out how they could get past that ward.

Currently, Severus had four different wards on his locker, each more complex and complicated than the first, and the last one he invented himself, and he had obliviated the combination from his memory so the marauders had no possible way of opening it.

Snape took down the wards and tapped the locker with his wand. This was how it was supposed to open. Too bad it didn't.

Confused, he checked to make sure that it was, in fact, his locker, and checked to be sure the wards had been removed properly. After tapping it three times unsuccessfully, he began every unlocking and opening spell he could think of. It didn't open.  
Angrily, he began muttering curses under his breath at random passerby, and shoved his wand in his pocket. He spun the lock randomly, only to remember that he forgot the combination. He whipped out his wand, thought better of it, and methodically began spinning combinations.

Twenty minutes later, he realized that he was getting nowhere. Severus groaned and briskly walked to Dumbledore's office, cloak billowing menacingly behind him.

After convincing the Headmaster that he was the real Severus Snape, not a marauder in disguise, and not imperiused, he received his combination.

At his locker, he spun the combination slowly and accurately. Not knowing that two pairs of eyes were watching nearby from under an invisibility cloak, he spun the final number.

The locker opened on the first try. He stepped away exasperatedly, and obliviated himself once more. He threw open the door to glare into the locker, and ten liters of water poured onto his head.

He heard the distinctive laughter of Black and Potter escaping down the hall.

Attempting to run after them, he slipped in the puddle and fell backwards into the locker.

The door closed.

"Darn."

SSSSSSSSSSSSS

**Again, I apologize for the wait epically long wait, but I will be posting chapters more frequently, as I have quite a few requests lined up. (25! ) Speaking of requests, I am currently closing all requests/suggestions until I have caught up a bit more. So if you think of someone that would be a perfect victim of an evil locker, please remember them and wait until I can post a few more chapters. **

**Thanks for sticking with me through this year without updates**

**please review!**


	21. Ginny first year

Hey everyone, sorry I've been gone forever again... I lost my notebook and school just ended... I know, its not a good excuse... I've decided to completely change how I do things for this story: I won't go in order of requests (I had writers block (crookshanks is next...) and I'm sure I've lost some of the readers who requested earlier stories) I will write them as they come to me... I have ideas for about five of them right now... You can still keep the requests coming though :)

So... Thanks to TheNextCullen332, here is Ginny (the first year obsessed with Harry) and The Evil Locker

GWGWGWGWGW

Ginny Weasley was new at Hogwarts, it was only her first week there when the lockers were first installed. And, being and eleven year old, she decorated her locker along with the other underclassmen. A few days later, on her way to potions (heaven forbid she be late), she ran to her locker to retrieve her textbook. She reached her small hand up to the lock and carefully spun her combination. It didn't work. She tried it once more unsuccessfully, checked that it was her locker, and looked around embarrassedly at everyone in the hallway who could get their lockers open. She dug through her bag quickly to find the little sheet of parchment that explained how to open a locker. She followed the instructions there to no avail. The hallway was starting to empty. Frantically, she spun the lock again. About to cry in frustration, she turned to the left to see if someone could help her. The only people there were 6th year Slytherins, On her right was Harry Potter. She could barely concentrate. She worked up all her courage and turned to him.

"Harry?" she asked tentatively, "I...I can't open my locker...could you..." she broke off, too nervous to keep talking to him.

"Yeah, sure, Ginny." He took the little paper with her combination on it and began to spin the lock.

'He knows my name! He _said _my name!' Ginny thought as he finished the combination. It opened.

"Thank you so much!" she gushed. He was staring into her locker with a bemused and shocked expression. She turned bright red. She couldn't breathe.

"Erm..." Harry said, his face somewhat pink. She had covered her locker with pictures, newspaper clippings, and magazine pages. All of Harry. The pictures were probably from Colin, and they included him walking down the hallway, taking notes in Transfiguration, eating breakfast, catching the golden snitch from last week's game, and him sleeping. All fully animated.

"Bye" she squeaked as she grabbed the wrong textbook, slammed the locker, and ran off down the hallway, the opposite direction from her potions class. A few seconds later, Harry stopped staring at the locker. He looked toward the hallway to the dungeons, then toward the way Ginny ran off, shook his head and walked away.

GWGWGWGWGW

Thanks for reading! sorry its so short

Review and Request!

I need three reviews to update!


	22. JKR

Hey everyone, sorry for the month long wait again...

Here's a little chapter for you requested a while ago. Hope you enjoy

Now presenting: J.K. Rowling and the locker of doom (requested by werecatgirl616)

JKRJKRJKRJKRJKRJKRJKR

J.K. Rowling was walking along a corridor filled with lockers. Being the author, she was the only muggle who could get into Hogwarts. She smiled as she passed her characters sitting, bored in History of Magic. The seventh and final book was to be published soon. She had written the ending many years ago, and since people were trying to steal it, J.K. Rowling had been hiding it. First in her house, but that was broken into... Then a vault in Switzerland, but that was broken into as well. Finally, she gave up on muggle methods and moved it to Gringotts. After threats of a break in, she decided to move it to the safest place ever, Hogwarts. Putting it in a locker also added safety.

She reached her locker and spun her combination carefully, excited to finally get the ending out. It didn't open. She frowned slightly and tried again. Still not opening. Nervous because her publisher wanted it that afternoon, she tried and tried again. She frantically pushed the opener thing, but that didn't help.

After about an hour of desperate trying, she gave up and left Hogwarts to go meet with her publisher. She had a few minutes to make up a new ending to the Harry Potter series, and thus wrote the epilogue that is currently in the books. All she could remember about the ending in the locker was that the last word was scar, but she didn't know the sentence. So, she made up some random kids with weird names and put in only a few of the important characters.

She also wrote all the lockers out of the series.

JKRJKRJKRJKRJKRJKR

Haha, thanks for reading, everyone... I thought this would be a funny chapter for you all. I promise I don't hate the ending that much... _ maybe a little...

And it explains why there are no lockers in Hogwarts.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a little chapter to hold you over for a while, I will be out of town without internet access for most of July, but I will have my notebook, and I'm working on a particularly long and hilarious chapter for this story. So be prepared for some awesome stuff coming up

Thanks for being patient everyone!

~Aulophobic Clarinetist


	23. Luna and the Nargsnorkles

Hey everyone. It's been a while... but I'm back! Back in the saddle again!! (yay Aerosmith). Sorry it's been forever... again... this year's been kind of crazy. I was going to post a chapter last week, but for some reason I can't find the document on my computer. I don't know where it is, but I'm looking. Also my request list is hiding from me. So, since I have no idea who wants what at the moment, here is a short chapter that I was recently inspired to do, to let you all know that I'm not dead and I'm back (in black... AC/DC :D )

Luna Lovegood skipped dreamily down a deserted hallway in the west wing of Hogwarts. She pulled out a bar of chocolate as she hummed to herself. Carefully, she placed a piece in her hand and held it out to the locker she stopped in front of. All of a sudden, the chocolate disappeared. She broke off another piece and held it out as well. After a while, a small creature began to show itself. The more chocolate she gave it, the more she could see. The small creature was a nargsnorkle.

Nargsnorkles are about the size of a pygmy puff and live inside lockers. They take great delight in making them difficult to open. They are invisible and can pass through objects unless they have eaten their fill of chocolate. Once full, they show themselves. The tiny creatures are black and fluffy, with silver stripes. Female nargsnorkles have green eyes, and males have red eyes. The best way to bribe a nargsnorkle into letting you open your locker is to bribe them with chocolate.

Luna had been feeding chocolate to the nargsnorkles to get access to her locker, but realized that all lockers had nargsnorkles of course, and that Hogwarts would be a much better place if they would live somewhere else. So throughout the school year, she had been capturing and relocating all the nargsnorkles. After feeding the nargsnorkle, she realized what locker she was at: 713. This was the last locker. She smiled, put the nargsnorkle in her bag, and walked past the locker three times. The locker grew to the size of a door. Luna spun the combination carefully. It opened. She went inside and it was a small, dark room with many shelves and little cages with tubes like the ones muggles put hamsters in. She opened the cage closest to her, and began pulling nargsnorkles out of her bag to put in the new nargsnorkle city.

As she put the last Nargsnorkle in, she hoped this would end all the locker problems in Hogwarts.

Little did she know, this was only the beginning.

Thanks for reading :)

On another note, I have been working on a few long stories that I will be posting eventually. One is a Lily/James story and one is a Christmas X-Files story (I'll either post this one during Christmas in July or in November)


	24. Return of the Nargsnorkles

Hey everyone!!

I didn't find my long chapter, but I found some scribbles of notes for it, so I rewrote it and added in Luna's furry little friends.

Also exciting news!!! I want to make this story more interactive, so from now until May 15th anyone can guest write a chapter and email it to :) I'll beta them and give you all credit :)

Ron Weasley was having locker problems again. He had tried and tried to open it, even double checking his combination. He was getting impatient since he knew Harry and Hermione would soon come looking for him so they could go to the library and study. 'Well, 'Mione will study... Harry and I'll probably play wizard's chess' Ron thought to himself with a smile, then refocused his wandering attention on the locker.

He carefully turned the lock to his first number, 7. Following the directions exactly, he spun it to 13. Then, slowly, he turned to the final number, 24. He lifted up on the lock, hopeful. It didn't open.

"Bloody locker!" He exclaimed angrily.

"Hello Ron" said a dreamy voice somewhere from the vicinity of his left elbow, "I've gotten all the nargsnorkles out of the lockers, you shouldn't be having any more trouble with them. Do you want me to try?" Luna asked.

"Erm, no! No, it's fine, I'll just-"

"Ronald, is there any reason Luna shouldn't open your locker?" Hermione interrupted.

"No! I don't need anything from it, let's go" he said as he started to briskly walk down the hallway, followed by a confused Harry and an agitated Hermione. Luna skipped merrily to the room of requirement where her beloved nargsnorkles would be expecting their daily chocolate. In actuality, Ron had promised Colin Creevy that Harry would autograph his pictures if he would take a picture of Hermione who had fallen asleep in the Gryffindor common room reading Hogwarts: A History for the twentieth time. This picture was now in his locker, and he bloody well did not want Hermione to see it, especially since Ginny had just been caught with Harry's pictures.

Today Ron was particularly observant as he held the door open to the library, and he noticed that Hermione had a green ribbon in her hair. Ron thought she looked rather pretty. His ears turned red as the trio headed to the table in the back Hermione had claimed the first week of school.

Luna reached the room of requirement, walked past it three times, and entered. She gasped. The nargsnorkles were gone! She held out chocolate in hopes that they would return, but they were nowhere to be seen. It had taken her weeks to track them all down, she hoped they hadn't re-inhabited all the lockers again.

Nargsnorkles, when not provoking those who use lockers, are very perceptive of emotions and are very mischievous. They can sometimes even transport small objects through walls.

The next day, Ron and Ginny were attempting to open their lockers at the same time. After a few tries, they were successful. Ron reached into his locker and pulled out the green ribbon that Hermione had yesterday. Shocked, he turned to Ginny.

"Thanks" he said as he held up the ribbon.

"Isn't that Hermione's ribbon? Why are you thanking me?" She asked.

"You mean, you didn't put this here?"

"No... and you didn't give me this?" She held up one of Harry's old t-shirts.

"It was the nargsnorkles!" Luna said as she walked up to them, "They understand emotions rather well"

Ginny and Ron turned a shade of red that Professor Sprout would love to see in her magical tomatoes. Ron quickly fled to the Gryffindor tower. Luna held out some chocolate, and as it disappeared, two small, fuzzy creatures appeared.

"Are those nargsnorkles?" Ginny gasped.

"Of course! What did you expect? Crumple-horned Snorkacks?" Luna replied as she picked them up and absentmindedly began to pet them. Ginny lightly patted one on the head, shook her own head in disbelief, smiled somewhat embarrassedly, and left.

Luna smiled happily, put the nargsnorkles in her bag, and wandered off to the next locker with her chocolate.

And there you have it :)

haha I hope you liked it!

Review please!

Also send me your chapters!


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